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The Meaning of Wife: A Provocative Look at Women and Marriage in the Twenty-first Century ReviewAs a newly-wed, always independent female, my first year of marriage has met confusion over new roles, career goals and what my new title of "wife" really implied. I turned somewhat to rebellion - as did my husband in his new title, with all it's implications of "breadwinner" - I do not want the traditional house wife role. I never played that role in the five years we lived together prior to the wedding ring and all of a sudden that ring, which is supposed to represent the unity and fairytale love we are bombarded with daily, became what I had always thought of as a ridiculous metaphor for marriage: a ball and chain. I felt trapped.
The reason I am writing this now, is not because I had some self-awakening and suddenly came into my own as a wifely figure. I did not follow my wild daydream of suddenly, and with no real plan, driving into the sunset toward "liberty." I did not go file for divorce, which is the popular and easy thing to do. I simply read a book. "The Meaning of Wife," by Anne Kingston, is an eye-opening page turner, which confronts social patterns, ideologies, and generalizations of what it means to not only be a wife, but a woman in Western Society.
While reading this book, I was forced to confront some of my own pre-conceived notions of what it means to be a wife, mother, career woman, domestic, caretaker, [...]. It also helped me to realize that in some of my ideals I have been unfair to the person I chose to make my partner for life, and vice versa.
I am amazed by Kingston's ability to present different perspectives and surprised by her ability to resolve many issues. She does not represent a feminist hard-line but takes a logical stance that does not slap either sex across the face with shame. She was able to show all sides of a debate in each chapter, and then resolved with solutions that make the reader think, "Now why didn't I think of that. It is so simple, so obvious."
I strongly believe that this book is not only a read for women, but men as well. As I said before, it is not a feminist manuscript meant to belittle men, but a bold confrontation of the roles assigned both sexes in Western Society. It focuses on the role of the wife, but in doing so, confronts the roles of the Husband.
Believe it or not the only feminist book I have read in my life is, "Communion," by Bell Hooks. This was a book I loved but had contradicting feelings about. It makes grand points of what it means to "Commune" with another, but showed little resolve toward such communion. One of my favorite quotes came from this book, "To exist in a state of communion is to be aware of the nature of existence." (Susan Griffin) However, it was not until reading, "The Meaning of Wife," that I truly began to confront and make peace with my existence as a female and all the roles I play as an individual and as a partner in a communion I chose.
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