The Name Book: Over 10,000 Names, Their Meanings, Origins, and Spritual Significance Review

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The Name Book: Over 10,000 Names, Their Meanings, Origins, and Spritual Significance ReviewAfter searching three other baby name books (that each boasted 20,000 names or more - one even had more than 50,000 from around the world) and finding nothing that worked for our first child, I borrowed this book from a friend and found the perfect name. The name my husband and I chose wasn't in any of the other books. The same thing happened to the friend who lent me The Name Book - she has never found her first-born's name in another baby name book.
The meanings in The Name Book are lovely, and the spelling variations allow parents to personalize names to their own tastes. Even though we knew the sex of our baby before she was born, it was still nice to have the boy and girl (and unisex) names listed together - it just gives you more options and it's easier to read.
I'm ordering my own copy of the book since we're expecting our second child this year. (By the way, my lending friend is done having children - but she's keeping the book just because it's so wonderful!)The Name Book: Over 10,000 Names, Their Meanings, Origins, and Spritual Significance Overview

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Kabbalistic Astrology: And the Meaning of Our Lives Review

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Kabbalistic Astrology: And the Meaning of Our Lives ReviewI should preface this review by stating that I have read other books by Philip Berg and by his sons, and therefore have some familiarity with the material and the terminology. The book that introduced me to this system (Kabbalah)was "The 72 Names of God," which for me was an amazing eye-opener. Specifically with reference to the Astrology book, I would like to say that the information it has given me regarding my birth sign and my particular "tikune" (correction in this life) are right on target based on what I have recognized to be the areas in which I am lacking and the challenges that life has thrown my way in order to help me overcome those deficiencies. I therefore see this book as a very helpful tool.Kabbalistic Astrology: And the Meaning of Our Lives Overview

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Forbidden Review

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Forbidden ReviewGold Star Award Winner!
Lochan and Maya are brother and sister. Their three younger siblings depend on them ever since their dad left them and their mother no longer cares for them. With the pressure of this enormous responsibility, Maya and Lochan turn to each other. They find solace and comfort, but they find so much more than that. They find love. Not just sibling love, but real emotional, physical love. How can they love each other when the rest of the world sees their actions as disgusting and vile?
FORBIDDEN deals with an incredibly controversial subject, and readers should be warned. Lochan and Maya are brother and sister, but they love each other in the way that any normal couple would. The first half of the book doesn't even touch the subject; it sets the scene with depictions of a family falling apart and a set of siblings doing all they can to hold it together. The second half delves into their incestuous relationship and the torrent of emotions and consequences that come along with it.
Though this type of relationship is looked down upon by society, I couldn't help but hope that Maya and Lochan would work out. Their love was deeper than any other I've encountered and it was truly real because of everything they had suffered through together. It was hard to accept the fact that they were related, but also easy at the same time. Their relationship, as you can imagine, pushed boundaries to their breaking points. The emotional side balanced with the physical side. The thoughts of each character were drawn out and talked about comprehensively. They were real people with honest emotions.
This is one of those books that will rip apart your heart and make you question everything you've ever believed in. By the novel's end I was in tears. The story was shocking and difficult at times, but it was worth it. FORBIDDEN is a stunning read that shouldn't be missed. I highly recommend it.
**Please note: FORBIDDEN includes a disclaimer that the story isn't suitable for younger readers.
Reviewed by: McKenzie Tritt
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Everything Happens for a Reason: Finding the True Meaning of the Events in Our Lives Review

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Everything Happens for a Reason: Finding the True Meaning of the Events in Our Lives ReviewI recently purchased Mira's Kirshenbaum's new book "Everything Happens For A reason" and I found this book to be very inspiration and most beneficial. As a woman that has had much adversity in my life over these past few years, the author encouraged, that even through the worst of times, growth and peacefulness will emerge if we are open to trust in ourselves and the fact that everything does happen for a reason. As a mother that lost her only child 4 years ago to leukemia at the age of 10, I could not believe at the time, that any positives could ever come from one of the most devastating experience any parent could ever imagine. The truth is...they have....through my grief work I have grown in ways I never would have ever explored, had I not going through this experience I have had to endure. This book brought me a peacefullness in knowing that the twist and turns in our lifetime do have reason, that they help us to find true authenticity of self and to help direct us back on course to find the true meaning of our life here on this earth. The author knows first hand about adversity losing many loved ones of her own during the holcaust. Through her sharing in this book of her first hand experience with adversity in her own life, I felt that she truly could relate and understand my struggles as well. For anyone that has gone through a deep loss, whether it be a death of a loved one, illness or divorce this book is a wonderful resource to assit you with your healing. I highly recommend this book!
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Finite and Infinite Games: A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility Review

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Finite and Infinite Games: A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility ReviewProfessor Carse writes in the first chapter, "There are at least two kinds of games. One could be called finite, the other infinite. A finite game is played for the purpose of winning, an infinite game for the purpose of continuing the play." From that beginning he broadly defines "game" in a way that includes, defines, and lays an analytical foundation for all relationships. The book's subtitle is "A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility," and it is a profound work, practically a unified-field theory of human relationships.
For example, the book contains an interesting theory about sexuality, as being either a finite game (§§ 54-59) or an infinite game (§§ 60-62). The contrast between perceiving sexual relationships as finite or infinite is startling. On a broader (yet surprisingly even more personal) level, in his chapter titled "A Finite Game Occurs Within a World" (ch. 4), Carse explores the individual's struggle with defining, regarding, and regulating the world around oneself in a way that includes everyone around one, or just oneself alone.
The first step in appreciating this book is understanding that any relationship or process can be characterized in "finite" or "infinite" terms. The second step is recognizing that that characterization is almost always a matter of choice and that, by choosing to characterize a relationship as "infinite," one can redefine it in a meaningful and healthy way. After reading this book, you may never look at the world around you, or at any relationship, or at yourself in quite the same way. This book reconfigures thinking about interpersonal reality as deeply as Kuhn's "Structure of Scientific Revolutions" reconfigured thinking about the scientific method.Finite and Infinite Games: A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility Overview

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The Marriage Builder Review

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The Marriage Builder ReviewThis book was a total blessing to me. The author argues that there are 3 ingredients to a healthy, godly marriage. Spirit oneness, Soul oneness and Body oneness. Note I am not saying happy. I think we are just so after happiness, that we forget the whole purpose behind marriage. Marriage is not to make me happy, but to make me holy! When I am transformed into an image of Christ that's where I am most happy to be. In His presence, the pleasures are forevermore. John 15:5 Apart from Christ I can do nothing! So there are 3 bulding blocks, Grace, Committment and Acceptance. If couples understood the grace of God and the biblical principles of marriage then the divorce rate in America wouldn't be so high. Must read for every couple umarried or married who want to please God and meet each other's needs. I reccomend it highly as I was able to put a lot of the book into practice in my own marriage and in my life !The Marriage Builder Overview

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Organic Disciplemaking: Mentoring Others Into Spiritual Maturity And Leadership Review

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Organic Disciplemaking: Mentoring Others Into Spiritual Maturity And Leadership ReviewFor a number of years now I've been working on a practical how-to book on discipleship. Dennis McCallum has beaten me to the punch with Organic Disciple Making. He's written the most practical book on how to disciple people I've ever read.
Time and time again I find myself saying, "Yup, he nailed that one; that's how it works." For example, early on the book covers the subject of modeling and its key role in making disciples. Later it delves into the practical questions of how you counsel and disciple through various issues or how you deal with blocks in their development.
For example McCallum distinguishes the difference between weakness and resistance and the appropriate response of a disciple maker. A disciple struggling with weakness generally needs encouragement, whereas a disciple who is resistant often needs confrontation and possibly discipline.
I loved that the book had a whole section on coaching and I loved that its counsel is both biblically grounded and rooted in the everyday experience of someone who leads 250 home churches. I've read so many books on discipleship and few drill down to address the questions ordinary people have as they struggle to help their disciples grow.
All of us who have committed ourselves to following Jesus and representing his name need to learn how to make disciples. It was the last thing he asked us to do before leaving the earth. If you as a Jesus-follower feel like you need help in learning how to do this in a way that feels natural, do yourself a favor and get Organic Disciple Making.Organic Disciplemaking: Mentoring Others Into Spiritual Maturity And Leadership Overview

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The Next Evolution of Marketing: Connect with Your Customers by Marketing with Meaning Review

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The Next Evolution of Marketing: Connect with Your Customers by Marketing with Meaning ReviewI must say that when asked to review Bob Gilbreath's book, The Next Evolution of Marketing, I was somewhat reluctant. Probably because I expected it to be yet another of those marketing potboilers lining the shelves of America's bookstores, either sporting such esoteric titles as The Twelve Immutable Marketing Secrets of the Kalahari Nomads, or words of wisdom from some gnarly old retired captain of industry, probably ghost written by his latest trophy wife.
Fortunately, Bob's book is neither. For a start, he isn't gnarly, he isn't even retired. He's still working at a large global digital ad agency, which he does rather obviously promote the crap out of at every opportunity. Remember Bob, push is passé. However, to his credit, when he does do this, he ties it in to a specific, provable benefit his company has brought to both client and consumer.
Described by other reviewers as the next step beyond "Permission Marketing," Bob's central thesis is that because customers are increasingly being bombarded with advertising messages which they are choosing to ignore, we now have to create "Marketing with Meaning." I wholeheartedly agree, but with one caveat... There is nothing new about this situation, customers have always been bombarded with marketing messages, it's just that now, the volume has exponentially increased and potential customers have many more ways to tune you out. Therefore, Bob's words acquire even more relevancy.
In the first half of the book, Bob gives many, many (way too many), examples and case studies of companies who have taken a different tack in marketing their products and services to existing and potential customers. All good worthwhile stuff, particularly as he shows the concrete results of their efforts rather than the usual BDA (Big Dumb Agency) soporific... "We increased brand awareness." Personally, I think the number of examples is overkill, but I am sure all the MBA's out there will lap it up and create hundreds and hundreds of Power Point slides from the information.
The second half is a guide to implementing Bob's "Marketing with Meaning" premise into a company's marketing program. As with all good ideas, this is in reality, simple and logical. Something most large organizations seem to have a problem grasping. Think Cisco with its 47 "Action Committees" each with dozens of middle managers. Then compare it Rockefeller's Standard Oil at the height of its power. He had eleven managers. Bob does an excellent job of boiling everything you need to know down into four succinct and meaningful steps. Bravo Bob, but you'll never get a job at Cisco.
If you are pressed for time, take Bob's advice in Chapter six... "Start at the end."
The final five chapters are solid gold. The whole book reminds me of famous dead ad man Howard Gossage, who said forty years ago... "People don't read advertising, they read what interests them. Sometimes, that's advertising."
The Next Evolution of Marketing, Has lots of good stuff, I highly recommend it.
Now go buy my last book. Cheers/George
The Ubiquitous PersuadersThe Next Evolution of Marketing: Connect with Your Customers by Marketing with Meaning Overview

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Covenant Marriage: Building Communication & Intimacy Review

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Covenant Marriage: Building Communication & Intimacy ReviewPopular author and relationship expert Gary Chapman adds yet another valuable marriage volume to his portfolio with COVENANT MARRIAGE. Well known for his bestselling series of titles based on "The Five Love Languages," he strives in his latest work to move couples from a contract mentality toward covenant matrimony.
Decrying the growing divorce rate among Christians, Chapman calls readers to a closer commitment to the cause of Christ. In his estimation there isn't the social stigma attached to divorce that there once was, and this is largely a result of divorce becoming culturally acceptable in the church.
Chapman suggests that communication and intimacy are essential to maintaining the sacredness of the marriage relationship, and he outlines the means to achieving them with skill and sensitivity. Identifying the types of unhealthy communication patterns and the five levels of communication, he offers readers useful material in a meaningful manner.
As Chapman cleverly points out, "The word communication is found in the dictionary between the words commotion and community." Building on that thought, he suggests to couples that community is the result of good communication while commotion is created by poor communication.
He also addresses the need for a definition of love that is scriptural rather than secular, maintaining that too many couples today focus more on being happy than being holy. Chapman explains that the secular meaning of love is a feeling, while the scriptural meaning is a commitment.
According to Chapman, the mistake that many people make is that they place an emphasis on the fleeting emotion of happiness, which is dependent on what is happening temporarily instead of on the eternal value of holiness, which is reflective of a life wholly submitted to the Lord. After all, he states, the purpose of life is to do the will of God, not our own.
Paradoxically, Chapman reminds readers that life is more than having a good marriage. "The Christian's ultimate call is not the call to develop a good marriage; the Christian's call is to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. As Christians, we must remember that marriage is not an end in itself," he writes.
One particularly helpful resource is a chart with the heading, "Personality Opposites," which treats readers to an instructive listing of a dozen stereotypical personality types and their polar opposites, offering an insightful lesson on how opposites attract.
Toward the close of the book, Chapman devotes several chapters to specific types of intimacy, including emotional intimacy, intellectual intimacy, sexual intimacy and spiritual intimacy, complete with helpful suggestions for achieving each type.
A welcome addition to the growing collection of marriage enrichment guides, COVENANT MARRIAGE is a must-read for anyone who desires a marriage modeled on covenant commitment rather than contract convenience.
--- Reviewed by Sean FowldsCovenant Marriage: Building Communication & Intimacy Overview

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Values-Driven Leadership: Discovering and Developing Your Core Values for Ministry Review

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Values-Driven Leadership: Discovering and Developing Your Core Values for Ministry ReviewAs a single adult pastor, I have been looking for a book that would be a guide in casting a vision for our ministry for the next 1, 3, and 5 years. Values Driven ministry does an excellent job of taking the reader back to see what drives a God-given vision--it is our biblically based values. (I strongly suggest you also read Malphurs' book: Developing a Vision for Ministry in the 21st Century--it is an incredible companion to this one).Since each of has been uniquely made in God's image we will "see" things differently and, yet, our biblically based values shape and are our basis for ministry. This is where in our uniqueness we are actually drawn together for the glory of God. The book does an excellent job of discussing in chronological order the following leadership and vision matters. CH.1: The Importance of Core Values; Ch. 2: The Definition of Core Values; Ch. 3: The Discovery of Core Values; Ch. 4: The Development of Core Values; Ch. 5: The Communication of Core Values; Ch. 6: The Implementation of Core Values; Ch. 7: The Preservation of Core Values. What is especially helpful is that both personal and corporate core values are blended together in discussion format. Two levels are being addressed at the same time; one, is to help leaders define their own personal vision for ministry; two, leaders are being guided to define their ministry's core values as well. This book has been an oasis for this thirsty pastor! I would have liked to have been able to study it in a seminary leadership class.Values-Driven Leadership: Discovering and Developing Your Core Values for Ministry Overview

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Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice (M/s Studies Books) Review

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Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice (M/s Studies Books) ReviewIn the latest book to discuss the dynamics of Master/slave relationships, we have "Master/slave Relations: A Handbook of Theory and Practice" by Robert J. Rubel, PhD. Like similar books by Christina Abernathy, Guy Baldwin, Jack Rinella or Jay Wiseman (who contributes this book's foreword), it sets out to explore the Master/slave dynamic. Building like a pyramid through various phases of mastery (and this is primarily a book directed to dominants), Dr. Rubel power-points his way through the book's near 200 pages.
Where Dr. Rubel excels here is in the details. He has a background as a financial CEO, and it shows. Protocol is the greatest part of Dr. Rubel's definition to Master/slave relationships, and references to manners and etiquette are liberally used. Also frequently placed throughout "Master/slave Relations" are fragments of commentary attributed to well known Master and slave individuals, allowing for additional gravitas from outside sources. This is no "whip'em into shape" handbook. "Master/slave Relations" aims to mold more than pulverize. It should be emphasized that one of the words in the book's title is "practice."
Referring back to Dr. Rubel's financial background, within the book's first 50 pages, he asks of the reader "How much are you willing to pay to get what you want?" He is not just posing this question financially (although financial responsibility does play a great role), but what are you - and by extension, your slave - willing to expand outside your pre-defined ideas of what you already have? His answers are structured and never glib, in fact, he uses several examples from the relationships in his life to punctuate his thoughts.
Even more important is Dr. Rubels' thoughts on the dynamics of the relationship. Most telling is a blocked off comment that reads:
"A slave's duty is to be of service to Master. That's it. The trick, then, is to be a Master worthy of such service."
Again, this is primarily a book for Dominants in search of greater understanding of D/s dynamics. The concept of reinvention is brought out frequently; structure (and I do mean that in a rigid fashion) and (here's that word again) protocols - mix with spirituality. What comes across throughout all of Dr. Rubel's work is the seriousness of it all. While he always comes off as sincere in his beliefs, there is more than a slight sense that you could well be reading a power-point presentation that you would otherwise be seated in an audience for. The density of "Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice" is so thick with scholarly intimation that you may have to take breaks from each chapter, to review and repeat. This could possibly be the most academic D/s lifestyle book I have ever encountered. If that is what your relationship (or search for understanding of self) requires, then by all means, delve in. Just be forewarned. The information here is invaluable, but it's also for the truly dedicated.Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice (M/s Studies Books) Overview

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The Meaning of Wife: A Provocative Look at Women and Marriage in the Twenty-first Century Review

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The Meaning of Wife: A Provocative Look at Women and Marriage in the Twenty-first Century ReviewAs a newly-wed, always independent female, my first year of marriage has met confusion over new roles, career goals and what my new title of "wife" really implied. I turned somewhat to rebellion - as did my husband in his new title, with all it's implications of "breadwinner" - I do not want the traditional house wife role. I never played that role in the five years we lived together prior to the wedding ring and all of a sudden that ring, which is supposed to represent the unity and fairytale love we are bombarded with daily, became what I had always thought of as a ridiculous metaphor for marriage: a ball and chain. I felt trapped.

The reason I am writing this now, is not because I had some self-awakening and suddenly came into my own as a wifely figure. I did not follow my wild daydream of suddenly, and with no real plan, driving into the sunset toward "liberty." I did not go file for divorce, which is the popular and easy thing to do. I simply read a book. "The Meaning of Wife," by Anne Kingston, is an eye-opening page turner, which confronts social patterns, ideologies, and generalizations of what it means to not only be a wife, but a woman in Western Society.

While reading this book, I was forced to confront some of my own pre-conceived notions of what it means to be a wife, mother, career woman, domestic, caretaker, [...]. It also helped me to realize that in some of my ideals I have been unfair to the person I chose to make my partner for life, and vice versa.

I am amazed by Kingston's ability to present different perspectives and surprised by her ability to resolve many issues. She does not represent a feminist hard-line but takes a logical stance that does not slap either sex across the face with shame. She was able to show all sides of a debate in each chapter, and then resolved with solutions that make the reader think, "Now why didn't I think of that. It is so simple, so obvious."

I strongly believe that this book is not only a read for women, but men as well. As I said before, it is not a feminist manuscript meant to belittle men, but a bold confrontation of the roles assigned both sexes in Western Society. It focuses on the role of the wife, but in doing so, confronts the roles of the Husband.

Believe it or not the only feminist book I have read in my life is, "Communion," by Bell Hooks. This was a book I loved but had contradicting feelings about. It makes grand points of what it means to "Commune" with another, but showed little resolve toward such communion. One of my favorite quotes came from this book, "To exist in a state of communion is to be aware of the nature of existence." (Susan Griffin) However, it was not until reading, "The Meaning of Wife," that I truly began to confront and make peace with my existence as a female and all the roles I play as an individual and as a partner in a communion I chose.
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Matters of the Heart Review

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Matters of the Heart ReviewWhile an avid reader, I rarely write reviews but was disturbed after reading this book. I feel the author was attempting to show how manipulative and devious a sociopath is, but had her character stay with the man for far too long. I feel it sends a dangerous message to both men and women. In the story, Hope is shown to be a strong woman. She is a woman who has lost much, but has been able to move through the pain and loss. I realize that a true sociopath can manipulate anyone, but as a message for young women, in particular, I think Hope should have left Finn the first time he was abusive. I think it sends a poor message that a strong, 44-year-old woman would stay with a man after he had been both mentally and physically abusive.Matters of the Heart Overview

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Dealing with the CrazyMakers in Your Life: Setting Boundaries on Unhealthy Relationships Review

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Dealing with the CrazyMakers in Your Life: Setting Boundaries on Unhealthy Relationships ReviewWritten by Dr. David Hawkins, a counselor of more than 30 years' experience, Dealing With the Crazy Makers in Your Life: Settling Boundaries on Unhealthy Relationships is a no-nonsense guide to dealing with the people who literally drive one crazy - whether they are spouses, other family members, co-workers, or anyone else one has to interact with on a regular basis. Chapters cover different individual types with flaws that can induce mind-crunching headaches, including aggressors, egotists, borderlines (those who appear rational but may explode at any moment), sufferers/martyrs, and rigid control freaks. The true value of Dealing with the Crazy Makers in Your Life lies in its practical, no-nonsense advice for coping with such people: the importance of setting boundaries; how crucial it is to never bluff and always follow through on any rules or promises; the value of letting an irresponsible individual suffer the consequences of his irresponsibility rather than clean up after him; and more. "Crazy-makers lack boundaries. They have a way of manipulating us into saying more than we are comfortable of saying and doing more than we want to do. We catch ourselves too late, after we've already spilled our guts. We must learn the importance of privacy." Though there are Christian elements within Dealing with the Crazy Makers in Your Life, such as recommendations to pray and spend time in the Word, Dealing with the Crazy Makers in Your Life is primarily a problem-solving self-help guide for readers of all backgrounds and faiths. Highly recommended.Dealing with the CrazyMakers in Your Life: Setting Boundaries on Unhealthy Relationships Overview

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The Psychopathology of Crime: Criminal Behavior as a Clinical Disorder Review

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The Psychopathology of Crime: Criminal Behavior as a Clinical Disorder ReviewThis book serves two purposes. It is an excellent literature review of research into the biological, neurochemical, genetic, and behavioral roots of violence and criminality. It also advances a provocative hypothesis -- that criminality itself may meet the definition of a psychopathology.
Even if you regard the latter as completely bunk (which I don't), the book is invaluable as a literature review. Not only is it exhaustive, but Raine also comments on the literature with a keen logical mind, i.e. "Hungadunga and McCormick found effect X and attributed it to factor Y, but an alternative explanation is provided by factor Z."
I am a science writer, and my main field of expertise is the medical aspects substance abuse treatment. I learned plenty of new stuff about the connections between alcoholism and criminal behavior in this book and will consult it repeatedly the next time my partner and I sit down to write/revise.
Quibbles? Well, to some degree, the literature review works at cross-purposes with his central hypothesis, since most of the resarch he reviews was not undertaken with such a hypothesis in mind and doesn't necessarily apply to it. Also, you do have to pay close attention re: whether Raine is, at any given point, talking about criminality in general, violent criminality in particular, or ASP (antisocial personality) specifically. Structurally, it might have made more sense to write two books: a critical review of the literature, and a second one advancing the thesis that criminality is a psychopathogy. I've faced similar dilemmas in my own writing, and I probably would have made the same decision Raine did -- cram it all in one book!
Bottom line: if you're interested enough in this subject to have read to the bottom of this review, you need to buy this book.The Psychopathology of Crime: Criminal Behavior as a Clinical Disorder Overview

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Love Is a Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships Review

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Love Is a Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships ReviewI found the information in this book very helpful. It is easy to read and understand. It is encouraging. It provides insight into what's going on when you're trying to cast off old ways of living that hold you back.
This book is worth reading, not only for the information to help you grow personally, but to be more aware and understanding of others in your life.
Although the authors may be religious, this does not come across heavily in the book and would not complicate a non-religious person using the information and insights to change things they don't like.Love Is a Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships Overview

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The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships Review

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The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships ReviewI work in Family Practice and Urgent Care as a physician assistant and do most of the 'psych' in our clinic. My background is in counseling psychology as well. I consider this book the most thorough, useful and appropriate 'communications skills' self-help book I have ever read. I recommend it to my patients and friends constantly. Janee Gillette, PA-CThe Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships Overview

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The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validation Review

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The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validation ReviewHigh Conflict Couple is a concise, easy to understand guide for couples seeking to deepen their relationship and ease their conflicts.
Its tone is a bit crisper, cooler, and more analytical than most marriage guides. This is actually its strength, speaking to the analytical half of your relationship in a straight-forward way they will appreciate and understand even if they shy away from most relationship-help books as being too touchie-feelie. The message is the same as many guides, that validation (lingo for healthy supportive loving communication) is the key to a happy, intimate relationship-- and it is the key. This book helps approach that need from the angle of couples or individuals who have already been conflict-prone.
The book has open-ended exercises that are useful if a bit vague, precise examples, and very good flow from chapter to chapter, start to finish. Even the layout is accessible with short measured segments that allow the reader to pause and reflect frequently.
Pair this with The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert for a complete set of paperback marriage counseling: that book contains many accessible examples, detailed exercises, and 2-person activities to try with your partner. I highly recommend the combination of the two books.
Regardless, if you're the emotional half of your relationship, get High Conflict Couple for your emotionally-challenged partner. If you're the analytical half, the guide will speak to you right away, and you'll wonder why nobody ever explained it to you in such a direct easy to understand way.
Highly recommended whether you are in a happy relationship, a struggling one, or struggling to understand why a relationship failed.The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validation Overview

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Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You Review

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Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You ReviewI am an emotional blackmailer, I just had no idea until I read this book. It was suggested to me by my soon to be ex- husband who couldn't take it anymore. I thought I was being strong and standing my ground and this book helped me to see that I was emotionally bullying other people. I beleived I was always right and no human being can be. It also helped me to see that it doesn't matter if you are wrong or right, making another person feel as if they must agree with you or they are "bad" is not OK. I was using the behaviors descibed in the book to protect myself from being hurt and have hurt sooooo many others in the process. If you're a person who always feels like a victim or have no idea why so many people don't like you when you think you're such a wonderful person READ IT!!!Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You Overview

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Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives Review

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Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives ReviewSome things said simply are more powerful thanks to their simplicity. This book provides a forceful, unflinching description of how people who are raised in a dysfunctional or abusive environment often sabotage and cripple their lives. The structure of the book is straightforward. The situations Mellody discusses are often sound sadly ordinary rather than extraordinary. But the resulting emotional resonance of this book is undeniable.
Mellody methodically dissects the disorder she calls codependency. She first explains how when working with addicted individuals as a nurse in a recovery center in Arizona she saw a repeated pattern of dysfunctional behavior in individuals and their families that went beyond the addictions for which the individuals were being treated. Her work there and her own personal development led to the conclusions in this book. (One of the wonderful aspects of the book is that when Mellody talks about codependents and their behavior) she does not speak condescendingly about "those codependents", but rather uses examples that begin with "I" or "us." This creates a powerful intimacy.
There are four main sections to the book. The first section details what she sees as the core symptoms of codependency: difficulty experiencing appropriate levels of self-esteem, difficulty setting functional boundaries, difficulty owning and expressing one's own reality, difficulty taking care of one's adult needs and wants, and difficulty behaving moderately. The second section details how dysfunctional family can push a child (whom Mellody describes as inherently valuable, vulnerable, imperfect, dependent, and immature) into codependency. The third section describes the many kinds of abuse (most of which are not obviously traumatizing on first review) that can push an individual, particularly a child toward codependency. And the last section provides a very preliminary road map to healing codependency: the first step she argues is an awareness of one's codependent state, and second step is a desire to change.
The book addresses well struggles that are an issue for many/most people. It touches on feelings that make books like "The Prince of Tides" and Alice Miller's "The Drama of the Gifted Child" resonant for so many. Here the presentation of more clinical, but not necessarily any less moving. I have two main complaints with the book. First, I don't think the term "codependent" does justice to the broad variety of symptoms that Mellody covers. In fact, I think the title of book alone might dissuade people who otherwise benefit from reading the book. I don't have a wonderful alternative, but I think a title like "Facing Dysfunctional Behavior" or "Facing Self-sabotaging Behavior" would be more accurate. Second, as in many of the twelve-step programs, Mellody consider a "Higher Power" an element in addressing codependent behavior. In reading the book I saw no reason to bring in this concept, and doing so might limit the applicability of these insight to those who are so predisposed. A good, and surprisingly powerful, little powerful book.Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives Overview

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